Night Weaning

Elissar is still not sleeping through the night. I am so tired. It has been almost 9 months since I have for more than 4 consecutive hours. She usually wakes between 11-12 am, 3 am, and around 5 am. 5 am is the worst because I can't always fall back to sleep. Part of the problem is that I still have problems with engorgement. If she goes more than a few hours without bfing my boobs get really hard and painful. It is getting better though. Once we move into our new apt. in Syria, I am going to try and wean her at night. I hope it will go easily, but I am expecting some crying and I am not sure it will work. She doesn't like to eat much during the day and I that is why she wants to eat all night. Hopefully, if I can at least cut the last feeding I will sleep better and she will be more interested in eating solids during the day.

Biscuits

I don't think I appreciated the freedom I had before E was born. I used to be able to wake up when I wanted, spend all day outside of the house, I could go out for a long lunch with friends, and stay up late drinking wine with my husband. Now, I am up at 7 am everyday, my life revolves around a nap schedule, going out to lunch should be less than an hour, and I am ready to hit the hay by 9 pm (not mention more than one glass of wine and lil' E is a lil' tipsy). I envy those of you without children. Now that she is here, I cannot imagine a happy life without E, but I miss my life when I didn't have someone to worry so much about.

The babysitter was here tonight so Z and I went to the movies with one of his friends from work. The movie, "Max Payne", wasn't so good, but it was really enjoyable to have a real conversation with someone without a baby clinging to me and yelling for attention.

The pics are of E and I making biscuits. She thoughly enjoyed banging all the utensils on the floor while I attempted to whip up some biscuits from scratch. Since we are moving to Syria, where there is no such thing as processed food, I am trying to hone my cooking skills using nothing but the most basic ingredients. Today's biscuits are the first successful attempt.

Rolling Over!

Finally Elissar is rolling over on her own (she could do it before, but never on purpose). We spent a good hour yesterday playing "roll over". She was so proud of herself. The look of delight on her face was priceless when she realized she could get from one place to another without mama's help. She is also eating more solids. She is eating three times a day now. Breakfast is still not more than a few bites, but at least she is not screaming for boobie while I am trying to feed her.

In other news, I bought a teach yourself Arabic book. This one focuses a lot on learning to read and write rather than just learning to speak. I figured, since I am much better at learning what I can see than hear, this one might be good for me. I have still not found a good Arabic-English dictionary, which is quite surprising considering I am in the Middle East and all the bookstores here have exstensive foreign language and reference sections.

Crawling

I am a little worried that E is not crawling yet. And it doesn't seem like she will be on the move anytime soon. I am not sure if she just isn't interested or doesn't have the strength. She moves quite a bit when she is sleeping. She will roll over and move around the bed on her back, but during the day she will sit in the same spot and whine to be picked up once she is bored of where she is sitting. Until recently, she has hated being on her stomach. I am trying to give her as much tummy time as possible. Hopefully more tummy time will bring some crawling soon.

When E woke up from her nap, I found she had rolled her self to the edge of the bed. Thankfully, she didn't roll off (there were pillows and blankets around the bed, so she would have been okay if she did fall).

Bathtime. Take a look at her hair.

It's Getting Better

Z&E

Look at that drool

I think I am finally getting a hang of this whole mom thing. Or maybe Elissar is just getting easier to take care of. She is definitely napping better and for longer periods of time and I have become mush more efficient when it comes to stuff like showering, cooking, and cleaning (I can now shower in less than 5, cook while washing dishes, and vaccuum and mop while holding the baby).

So Tired

I am so tired right now. Last night I ate 5 0r 6 too many cookies and couldn't fall asleep until sometime after 3am. E of course was up at 7 am. Today was nothing special (actually it was kinda frustrating, I am just too tired to think about it). Here are a few pics.

Me and E in the sling

I have to brag a little today. I have a beautiful baby. Having said that, I wonder if my little darling is truly more beautiful than all other babies, or am I bit biased. Are people are just telling me she is beautiful to be polite?

I had an appointment with my Gyno today at American Hospital. My doctor's office is located in the same building where E was born. So it happened that we ran into the doctor that delivered E while waiting for an elevator. She took one look at E and said, "Wow, she certainly is one of the prettier babies I have delivered in a long time". My heart smiled and my face screamed a silent "YES!" when the dr. got off the elevator. For the rest of the afternoon I kept looking at other babies we past and thinking to myself, "my baby is prettier than that one, and that one, and that one...".

The dr.'s comment really boosted my ego today. It also made me wonder why it is polite to tell parents their child is beautiful even when they aren't. Looking at myself in the mirror today and seeing the bags under my eyes and poop stain on my shirt (opps!), I thought maybe it is society's way of saying, "Hang in there. Raising children is rewarding". After all later in the afternoon when I saw the mother of a screaming newborn at the grocery store, I commented on her gorgeous baby boy then thought to myself, 'I am so glad I am past that stage.

Syria

We are supposed to be leaving for Syria on the 15th of October. We will be leaving Dubai for good then. I am not sure I am ready to go. The plan is to get there and stay at Z's mom's house until our new apartment is ready to move in. Ideally, we will move in by the end of October. But, this is Syria and nothing is ever on time.

I am at terms with moving to Syria. The issue I have is with staying at his mom's house for 2+ weeks. The last stay turned out to be a nightmare. Z doesn't understand the severity of the boredom I face staying with his mom. Zouheir is mostly busy setting up the new house and catching up with friends, so I am left alone with his mom and E. Doing nothing but sitting on my ass for 12 hours day watching TV is tolerable for a week, max. After 7 days insanity and depression start to set in.

If I spoke Arabic, or if this were any other country, I would have a list a hundred miles long of things to do to keep busy. However, the ability to learn Arabic has eluded me and the fear of becoming lost in a foreign country with a language I cannot understand far out-weighs the impending boredom.

I am not sure how to tell Z that I want to stay here until after the new house is ready. First of all, he has already rented out the apartment we are currently living and I am not sure we would be able to push back the new tenant's move-in date another 2-3 weeks. Secondly, when I am afraid he will think I am asking for this because I don't want to move to Syria or that I can't stand his mother. I like his mother.

The real truth is, I don't want to move to Syria. I first agreed to move because of Z's ultimatum. His options were move to Syria or get divorced. I was pregnant at the time and didn't want to give up on my marriage so quickly. Anyway, as time progressed I become more comfortable with the idea of living in Syria for a year or two. Being close to family would be good for E and being in Syria would allow her to learn Arabic from an early age. I would have my own home with all the Western amenities, a driver, and a maid if needed. This would also hopefully give me an opportunity to take some online classes for a master's degree or get back into taking pictures. I still believe all this; our house is going to be beautiful, Z's has already hired an amazing driver for me, and maids are easy to find. However, as the moving date approaches, the anxiety and fear of isolation is building inside me. I pray for strength.

She is Like a Real Person

It felt good today to get back to a routine after two weeks in Syria. I truly enjoy waking up with Elissar at 7 am and watching the news while eating breakfast. Around 9 Elissar goes down for a nap and I head to the gym. Zouheir babysits while I workout. He sleeps while she sleeps (how hard). On good days I make it back before either wakes up and I can enjoy a long shower. By the time I am dressed, E is usually awake and ready to get out of the house. Usually we head to the mall. Today however, we walked down to Scoosh Juice Bar for bit of lunch, coming home in time for E's afternoon nap.

We did make to the mall today. When Elissar woke up we went and met Zouheir for an early dinner at the mall. We ate at this french cafe, Le Pain Quotien. The usualy fast service seemed ideal for a meal with Elissar. She is finally reaching the age at which she can sit with us at a meal. We sat her in a high chair and pulled her up to the table across from Zouheir. We then watched as she grabbed a piece of bread and began nawing on it with a huge grin on her face. With that Zouheir looked at her and said, "Wow, she really looks like a real person". It is amazing to me that this baby that came out of me is really a unique person with a personality and individual thoughts and people are begining to see her as that.

No trip to the mall is complete without a little shopping. I got my new watch sized, Zouheir got some new shoes, and we picked up a few items from the grocery store. By the time we got home, E was more than ready for bed. She was sound asleep after a quick bath and some cuddle time with mommy. I love being her mom.